


That's No Hat

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Drugs, Head Growth, M/M, Tin can
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:19:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5591242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hancock tells a terrifying tale about his hat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's No Hat

Ya know, drugs don't kill people. Radiation, robot attraction, and head growths kill you. I have all three, but, out of all three, the last is the worst. I've been suffering from this thing for 200 years and it just gets larger and larger. For some reason it decided to take the form of a colonial hat. Maybe so it could go along with its evil plan without drawing any attention. The others think I just refuse to take off the hat and that I have some weird fetish. I may have some weird fetishes, but this hat is not one of them. I keep the drugs to me to stop it from telling me to murder my neighbors in my sleep. It speaks to me, man! It was okay until the time I tried to get with that tin can.

 

“Hey baby, is it true what they say about the size of a man's power armor?”

“What?”

“Do ya got a big dick, honey?”

Danse was confused. Nobody had ever asked him that before. 

“My guns are huge so I can take on huge threats.”

The ghoul's ghoulie ghoul eyes widened.

“Well, I got a gigantic threat right behind me.”

“What do you mean?”

“My asshole, you tin can!”

“Then say it straight next time!”

“There ain't nothing straight about me, bub!”

Danse got up and grabbed Hancock's hand. 

“You got a place?”

“Yeah, just up the stairs, baby cakes.”

Danse followed the Ghoul to a room with a huge heart shaped bed right in the middle. 

“Take off the suit and let's see what ya got.”

Danse exited the power armor. He wears it naked to prove something to himself. Hancock was liking what he was seeing.

“I am liking what I am seeing, boyscout. Now, get a load of this!”

Hancock ripped off his clothes to reveal his radiation burned body. His penis was huge and throbbing. It was actually the most functional part on him. 

“You want a piece of this action, bub?”

“You sure present a challenge. You're on!”

“Good, get over this here bed and we- I mean I'll give ya something to remember!”

Danse bent over the bed and Hancock slipped the huge, green penis deep into the tight butthole of the paladin. Hancock was right, he was a tight ass! He bent down to get a little mouth action at Danse's neck. He started using his tongue when Danse heard something.

“Murder the neighbors!”

“What the fuck!?”

Hancock pulled out.

“What are ya freakin' out about, hot stuff?”

“You were telling me to murder the neighbors!”

“I didn't say a damn thing! I was too busy slobbering all over your neck!”

“You're freaking me the fuck out, man!”

Danse ran over and hopped into his power armor. He then ran out of the building and didn't stop until he was safe on board the Brotherhood zeppelin.

“Fuck you, you fucking growth! You always ruin my chances of getting ass and AHHHHHH!!!”

There was a sharp pain in his head and he collapsed onto the floor. He was unconscious for several hours. 

“No talk bad to me Cock!”

“Just leave me alone! You're just a tum-AHHHHHH!!!”

The ghoul searched around for a tin of mentats. When he had his hand on some he downed them fast and the growth calmed down.

“I gotta get that thing removed.”

He poured himself a drink and stayed in bed for the rest of the day.


End file.
